Should I wait?
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I recently got into a relationship, and from what I can tell so far, my girlfriend possesses pretty much everything I want in a mate. In fact, part of me believes she may in fact be the one.
Now, quite a while back, I made the decision not to have sexual intercourse until marriage (and no it has nothing to do with religious beliefs or anything like that- I am in fact non-religious- I just want it to be REALLY special. Nothing is more special than the night I will get married). My girlfriend told me she respects my decision. My girlfriend has long since lost her virginity, but is already well aware of my situation. My roommate warned me that if I wait, and sex isn't good (penetration, specifically), it may hurt our relationship. My dad told me that there are often sex therapists who can assist in these situations- I guess in this case, you. I have no issues with having " a little fun" before marriage, but I don't know what to believe about the penetration issues, especially considering I'm hearing this from a horny, fellow 26-year-old friend of mine and his girlfriend, rather than an actual expert on sex. Any advice? It'd be much appreciated. Thanks again.

 

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I’m not trying to talk you out of waiting until your wedding night to have sex. There are good reasons for waiting that are not religious in nature, such as each of you knowing that you waited just for her. That alone will make it special and will show your love for her. But, is there a skill that you possess that you didn’t become better at? Was the first time you rode a bike, or drove a car or kissed a girl the best time you had doing that? The first time you try something, your skill level is low and you’re somewhat nervous. And so it’s quite likely that you’re going to be nervous the first time you have sex. The night will  still be special for its significance, but it might not be really special in the way you’re imagining. So my advice is not to build up this one night into something that won’t be able to live up to your expectation and then end up being disappointing. So please continue to wait because the commitment to waiting for your one true love is something that I think you’ll both treasure. But please don’t go overboard in building up your expectations regarding the sexual pleasure that will come of that night. You’ll have an entire lifetime of having sex and there will be many high points to look forward to, but don’t assume your first time will be one of those.

 

 


 
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