Okay, so I know that this is a really stereotypical question, but I think it can be narrowed down more specifically to me.
My boyfriend and I have been having sex for a year now. We've only done it eight times and every time I find it impossible to orgasm.
I don't understand this. I realize that it's normal for a man to come before a woman, but when I masturbate alone, I orgasm REALLY easily. He's the first person I've ever had sex with, if that matters. He knows about my problem, and it doesn't really bother him, naturally, but I really don't like it. Because when we're done, he lights up a cig and just chills out, and I'm feeling dissatisfied.
I mostly enjoy sex for the intimacy, so coming isn't my main goal. But, I don't understand, because my sex drive is really high and I have to masturbate at least once a day to feel all right. But when I'm with him, I almost "freeze up." Thanks.
I try not to sound like a commercial when answering questions on this site, but in your case I really think it would do you a lot of good to get Sex For Dummies because you seem to have a lot of misconceptions about sex. For example, you say it’s “normal” for a man to have an orgasm before his partner. It’s true that many men suffer from premature ejaculation, but it’s not something that every male has. And most women can’t have an orgasm from intercourse alone, so you need to figure out how he can give you orgasms, since you are orgasmic. And very few young people who’ve only had sex eight times can be considered experts, so you really do have a lot to learn. So my advice is to start the learning process by reading my book, or someone else’s if you’d like. Once you have a better understanding about the ABCs of sex, and maybe if you can get him to read it as well, then I think your sex life will improve.
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