If my husband and I are having great sex, why can he not ejaculate?
ImageMy new boyfriend and I have the most amazing sex ever that can last for hours or all night off and on. We are in our late 40s. He is very aroused the entire time, yet never has an ejaculation. He will get me off each time one way or another, then he will relax. Then later on, do it again, never going soft during our encounters, which are usually very intense, and sensitive. No matter how hard I try (in every way), he won't have an orgasm. I can tell he is enjoying it and seems to come very close at times, but never quite hits a home run! What might be the problem? He says it's not a medical issue, yet can't explain why he can't come. I feel like he is always satisfying me and I can't do the same for him. He doesn't complain about it. Should I really care?

ImageI think you should care because it would certainly add to his overall enjoyment of life. He’s suffering from what is called retarded or delayed ejaculation. The first question that needs to be answered is whether he can orgasm in other ways than intercourse. It sounds like you are not giving him orgasms, either through oral sex or manual masturbation, but he might be having them on his own. That would be a good thing because it would mean that he wasn’t walking around feeling sexually frustrated all the time, and it would also show that it’s not a physical problem but is rather a psychological one.

The next thing would be to find the cause.  Some men develop a certain pattern of masturbation when they’re young that they require in order to have an orgasm. Some men are afraid of causing an unintended pregnancy. Others have suffered some sort of traumatic event, or hold a resentment against their partner or have a warped view of sex because of a religious upbringing. He will need to figure out what is causing this problem in order to overcome it. If he can’t do this on his own, and with your help, then he should go to see a sex therapist, who can probably help him fairly quickly. 

 
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