Should I leave my boyfriend if he cannot physically have sex with me?
ImageMy boyfriend and I have been dating for about two years.  We get along great except for our so-called sex life. When he has an erection, his penis is curved about two inches from the base, and it sharply points straight down to the floor in a 90-degree angle.  If he has to bend it, it causes him great pain, and I have to be very careful when he is inside me.  On the other hand, the whole time we have sex, I am in pain from his unusual shape, and it feels like he’s hurting my insides.  I don’t feel any pleasure at all when we’re having sex, and after he’s done, I feel miserable because my insides are sore from his penis shape, and I am so unsatisfied.   He tells me that sex isn’t an important part of a relationship, and he makes me feel like a shallow person for bringing up the subject.  He often watches porn on his own and masturbates instead of wanting to have sex, and doesn’t like for me to touch him.  Even though it’s his penis deformity, I feel completely useless to satisfy him because most of the time it just hurts too much for him to finish, and I am devastated when he has to turn to porn to satisfy his needs.  He refuses to go see a doctor, and becomes angry whenever I try to talk to him about it.  I want to cry because he wants to marry me someday. I would never cheat on him, but I don’t want to marry a man who I can’t have sex with!


ImageYour boyfriend has what’s called Peyronie’s Disease. That’s when a man’s erect penis develops a curve of some sort. Most cases are mild and don’t interfere with sex but sometimes the curve is such that it does make sex either painful or impossible. There is a chance that it’s correctible, but since I’m not a medical doctor, to find out for sure he must go to see a urologist. I understand that he’s ashamed, but urologists look at all sorts of penises all day long so he’s just got to get over his embarrassment and see a doctor.  If the situation were hopeless, then I would have to tell you that you have a decision to make, as your sex life together would never be all that good. But as long as there is hope, he must do whatever is needed to make full use of that potential. If he refuses, if he acts like a big baby, then my advice is to leave him. Again, if he tries to correct the situation and is told that he can’t, then you have a decision to make, but if he refuses to try, then he’ll be making your mind up for you.

 
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