Your question is a good example of why it’s sometimes important to go to a therapist and talk things out. If you’d written only the first part of your question, I would have answered it one way, but because of the items you added at the end, I have a completely different reaction. And even so, I know I’m not seeing the entire picture and would really have to have the two of you in my office in order to figure out what is really going on.

Most people don’t have the same sexual appetites and so most couples have to figure out how to compromise so that both partners are basically satisfied, at least to the point that the relationship is not being threatened. But the fact that she’d trade having sex for a month of carpet cleaning is a sign that there’s a lot more going on here than merely a difference in sexual appetites. This indicates a serious relationship problem. So my advice to you is to see if she’s willing to see a marital counselor with you. If not, then you go yourself. I don’t know what is going to happen to this marriage but I would say that your relationship is far from healthy and if you don’t get professional help in fixing it, it’s going to continue to deteriorate and there’s a good chance that the two of you could separate.