 I have a girlfriend who was sexually molested as a four-year-old child.
The molestation took place over a 10-month period and was done by teenage boys, not family members. As an adult, she was a single mother. Whenever she had a chance to get out for a night on the town (once every few months), she would go looking for a well-endowed, no strings attached night of sex with whomever she wanted. She has described her encounters to me as one-nighters with hard, fast, painful sex. She said that she enjoyed the sensation of being "filled" to the hilt, by these men. She said that the average length of their penis was 8 - 10 inches and girthy. She also said that she felt that she had to be the best sexual encounter that these guys had ever had, but she never had an orgasm herself through penetration alone.
Now here we are, very much in love, but our sex life is lagging. She says that "making love" is boring, and that she likes sex when it hurts, or is at least a little painful and especially rough. She wants it hard and fast, in as many positions as possible. She has also told me that I am lacking in the endowment area. I am 6.75 inches long, and 6 inches in girth. I have been with a good deal of women in my life, and never had a complaint. I am very unselfish and soft when it comes to touching a woman, but I can also mix it up. She told me that my penis was small, and all of the other women that I had been with had all lied to me.
Anyway, my question to you is, could her vagina been stretched by her molestation as a child, and is that why she can only be semi-satisfied by well-endowed men? And why does she feel the need to put me down?
 While there is no way of telling for sure, it’s logical to assume that those teenage boys caused her some pain when she was molested, and also some pleasure, and so somehow the two, pain and pleasure, are confused in her psyche. Since she doesn’t require a large penis to achieve orgasm, clearly something else is going on. And then there’s that sensation of things seeming bigger than they actually are from a child’s perspective. In other words, if you ever go back to some place, like a grandmother’s home, that you hadn’t seen since you were a young child, it’s going to seem much smaller to you now because you were much smaller when those memories were formed. So to her, the erect penises of those boys must have seemed enormous, hence her desire for very large penises. She’s putting you down because she doesn’t want to put herself down. She doesn’t want to really face the truth, and that’s causing a problem in your relationship. My advice to the two of you is to seek out a therapist. Perhaps if she talks to a professional, she’ll accept what’s going on inside of her mind and change her attitude. If she won’t, then maybe you don’t want to continue the relationship because this issue isn’t going to go away on its own.
|
