 As my spouse and I are approaching our "seven year itch" (early 30s for both of us) and two beautiful children, I'm a little confused as to where our relationship is headed.
I love her very much and I'm pretty sure she feels the same way. We have a good relationship for the most part, except recently, things have started to change and I find myself very frustrated. I have asked her questions pertaining to "us" and she replies, "Everything is fine dear," but when it comes to intimacy, she seems very distant to me. I'm not sure if it's something I did or didn't do, but she never touches me anymore, and I mean never, in public, our bed, our couch, the movies, nothing.
I display my affection by touching her, rubbing her neck etc., but nothing in return. It seems intimacy has been lost, although whenever we have guests over, I notice she doesn't have any problem resting her arm or head on any one of our guy friends’ shoulder or arm (with their wives present). This doesn't bother me because we are all very good, close friends, but I really miss those kind of "touches" that all my guy friends are receiving lately, and yes, I have expressed my "disapproval" to the matter, but she says I'm overreacting.
We haven't had sex in close to two months now, and when asked about that, her reply is, "I've offered a couple times now, but you said no." Well, the first time she suggested it was when I was called into work one Saturday afternoon and didn't come home until 3:30 a.m. She had a girlfriend over and they stayed up until just before I came home. I was very tired and I also was supposed to go back to work at 6 a.m. The second time she suggested sex was after I had hurt my back really badly and was in a lot of pain for a week. If she had hurt her back that badly, I would give her daily messages to ease the pain slightly. I would not have to be asked either. I'm not saying she's 100 percent at fault, but if she wont talk to me, how am I supposed know what's going on? Thank you for your time.
 I think you are absolutely right to be concerned; very concerned in fact. There is something going on here and while I can’t say what it is, it needs to be addressed and corrected soon. What would be your best course of action? Find a marital therapist and tell your wife that you want to make an appointment for the two of you. If she won’t go, then you go.
Now you could try to get her to talk to you on your own, but it hasn’t worked so far and I’m not sure that it will. To be honest with you, I think that you have big trouble in your relationship, which is why I’m telling you to get professional help as soon as possible. And let me know what happens.
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