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Should I settle for a sexless marriage? |
 My husband and I are both 45 years old. We have been married for 11 years and have been together for nearly 16 years. We have no children. Sex was great during the first 10 years of our relationship, but now we rarely ever make love, perhaps once every three to four months at the most.
And those few occasions happen only if I decide to wear something sexy and initiate things. When we have had sex, it's been good, but I've felt less and less like doing so, because his relationship with me seems so impersonal. There is very little physical affection or interest and I don't feel close enough to him to want to make love. We are good friends and we get along well together, but I can't help feeling that surely any normal person would want more from a marriage. I don't think he is seeing anyone else. I've tried to discuss this concern, but he says he is quite happy with me and our marriage and does not want anybody else. I do love him very much, so perhaps I should just shut up and be happy with what I've got.
 I don’t think that you should just forget about this. I believe if you can get to the bottom of it, you should be able to find a solution. But you might not be able to do this alone. You probably need some professional guidance. He knows what’s going on and won’t admit it to you. It could be a physical problem or a psychological one, but he doesn’t want to face up to it, thus leaving you sexually frustrated. You might have to drag him to see this professional, but once he gets in that office and opens up to this person, with you out of the room, you should be on your way to a solution.
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