Many women ask me about their men masturbating and not having sex with them, but I have to say you’re the first to ask about two different men who’ve been masturbating right after having sex. Now you’re looking at the glass as being half empty, but maybe it’s half full, or even full to the top. Maybe you’re doing such a good job at love making that afterwards they’re still aroused. They may not want to wake you for another session, or maybe you indicated that you were tired, and so instead they masturbated. I’m not saying that’s the answer for certain, but it’s a possibility that you should consider. You most certainly should not assume any blame for this if you’re sure they had orgasms with you.

Now it would be useful to you to get to the bottom of this. My guess is that your reaction has been such as to make your partner feel guilty. I understand why you’d be upset, but by letting him know you’re upset, he’s going to try to hide the truth from you. Better for you to adopt a neutral attitude, assuming you can’t act positively, and talk about this with him. Explain that you want to know what more you could be doing and that you won’t feel hurt if he tells you that he just needs to masturbate.

Let me offer one possible explanation that he might give. It’s possible that in order to please you, he delayed his ejaculation, but by the time you’d had your orgasm, he wasn’t quite as excited as he could have been. He had an orgasm, but it left him feeling that he needed more, and so he masturbated, because to try to have intercourse with you again, which would include having to please you again, would not have presented him with what he was looking for. So maybe the solution might be that you say to him that if he ever wants to have another orgasm, that you’ll help him, either by letting him have intercourse, or in some other way, and you won’t need to have an orgasm yourself so it will just be to please him. Maybe that will do the trick. Let me know how this turns out.