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Why can't I become erect unless I'm receiving oral sex or masturbating? |
 I’ve been with my girl for about two years and we have since broken up. I don’t think I have ED because when I’m with her or when I watch porn movies, I become aroused and an erection is forthcoming. However, for some reason, every time I meet a new woman that I’m attracted to and we start to have sex, I can’t get an erection unless oral sex or masturbation is performed.
Masturbation or oral sex with someone for the first time may be a bit much. Any advice would be appreciated. I was thinking of maybe investing some sort of arousal product like a drink or a lube, but is this the answer?
 It appears that because you were hurt by this break up, your subconscious is telling you that you’d better not take the risk of forming another relationship and so is sabotaging your ability to become erect. I think what would help you the most is to wait a bit to have sex with a new woman until the relationship is a bit stronger. If you’re trying to have sex after only half a dozen dates or less, then you’re going to remain nervous and the problem may continue. However if you develop a solid relationship with a young lady before you try to have sex, you’ll have more confidence and that might help you. Even if it doesn’t help you the first couple of times, I think it would be of help a very short time later. And if you and this young lady were in a romantic relationship, then you’d have an easier time explaining your problem to her and hopefully she wouldn’t object to helping you out for a time until you’d overcome it, which I’m sure you will be able to do because clearly this is a psychological problem and not a medical one.
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