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My wife has lost interest in me sexually and will not communicate. What should I do? |
 I have a very sexy and attractive wife of 43 years old, but she has lost all interest in any type of contact with me.
In point form, we have three children. We are both very fit and are active athletes. We are both attractive. I initiate every move even if only a little hug. She NEVER even attempts any contact with me. We have made love five times in the last 10 months. I have attempted to talk to her on many an occasions, but she is not even interested in attempting some type of alternative or even to talk about things. She has stated on many occasions that we are different and I must take it or leave it.
I am now at my wits end and after 17 years of marriage, I want to give up, but with children, I just cannot. I am confident enough that I could start a relationship with someone else very quickly and easily if I really wanted to. Finally, I think that communication can sort this out, but she will not even try this. I even had thoughts lately that just maybe she was abused as a young lady, but she denies this or she is or has lesbian tendencies.
 I don’t think that you can handle this situation on your own. There is a reason for this reaction of hers, but it’s just not possible to guess what it is. Maybe you’re right and she was abused. It could be that she resents you for some reason. It could be that she has a lover. Whatever the reason, this is going to take professional guidance to get to the bottom of it. A counselor is going to have to talk to her privately and see what is really going on. I can’t guarantee the results. I’m not saying that after going for therapy the two of you are going to have a great sex life. On the contrary, the therapist may end up advising the two of you to get divorced. But at least you’ll have a road map. I would say that this situation is unhealthy for all of you: you, your wife and your children. So go get some professional counseling and see what can be discovered.
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