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I met a wonderful man, but he couldn't keep an erection our first time. What should I do? |
 I met a great guy on Match.com. We met for coffee and hit it off right away.
We are both looking for a "connection" and these match sites are no different than meeting at a bar (which we both dislike) or anywhere else. It is very hard to meet nice people I have found. I have tried singles groups, church groups etc. Neither of us has been married. The second time we met it was either his place vs. walking in the city and people watching, but we ended up watching TV; talking and drinking wine which was fine. We ended up in bed. He's 55 and I'm 52. I’m still a virgin (I did tell him and he seemed excited/happy about that). I did not feel pressured and was not nervous, afraid etc. and wanted to please him very much. I did bring a condom even though he told me he was "clean." He gave me a lot of oral and was patient/considerate and I almost came (I can come through masturbation). He could not keep an erection (blamed the condom). I suspected some anxiety, but he did use it because I asked. After no intercourse; we finally gave up. He held me VERY CLOSE and fell asleep. I finally had to leave because I needed to get home/go to work the next day. We have spoken several times since and he still seems interested and would like to see me again. I am not "dreaming of forever," but would like this to continue and hopefully evolve into a relationship. Is there hope for that or should we just enjoy each other's company?
 You absolutely should not allow a one-time failure to put an end to the romantic part of this relationship. His problem could have been from having to use the condom, it could have been from the anxiety of having sex with a 52-year old virgin, or any new woman, or it could be physical changes because he is getting older. But if you give it some time, I’m sure you can figure things out. From what you’ve said, the relationship is a positive one, so since you’ve waited this long to lose your virginity, have a bit more patience with this man.
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