Parents should be talking about sex with their children at a very early age, BUT it should always be age-appropriate. If you’ve never said a word about sex until the child is, say 15, it’s going to be a lot harder to have "The Talk" than if you’ve been discussing sex for a while. You also have to understand that parents give children messages about sex all the time, even if they’re not verbal. When your children see you and your husband hug each other, that gives them a positive message. If they never see you touch, then that gives them a different message. So, sorry to duck your questions somewhat, but I can’t give you one specific age to get into the nitty gritty details. How explicitly you talk about sex at each age will depend a lot on circumstances, including the maturity of the child and whether or not he or she is dating.

As to giving her a vibrator, there we part company. First of all, no woman needs a vibrator to masturbate. In fact, having a young girl get used to using a vibrator may set her up for a big disappointment when she begins to have sex with a man. And not every young woman feels the need to masturbate, or have sex with a partner. For you to suggest it, if she hasn’t thought of it on her own, will put pressure on her. There’s enough peer pressure on teens without parents adding to it. That said, if she appears to be “boy crazy” so that she might be following in your footsteps with regards to sex, then you should talk to her about masturbation, but don’t start out by giving her a vibrator. Of course you have to also take into consideration that while masturbation can provide relief from sexual tension, it doesn’t satisfy every need she may have and so even despite your advice, she may still want to have a boyfriend and end up having sex with him. But it’s worth a shot to talk about masturbation, just don’t put pressure on her to masturbate before she’s ready.