You have seven children, your relationship is terrible and you’re blaming pre-menopause for your lack of a sex drive? Your situation has zero to do with your hormones and everything to do with these other factors. I think the bottom line is that the two of you need marital counseling, but let me offer this advice in the meantime. Ask one of your older children to babysit the younger ones, and the two of you take a weekend off. See if you can’t rekindle your emotional relationship. Don’t worry about the sex for right now. Make sure that your husband has an orgasm or two over these couple of days, but if you don’t feel like it, if you’re not sufficiently aroused, then don’t try to force yourself. I don’t expect your relationship to completely heal itself in a weekend. The goal is to get the two of you heading in a positive direction. If that happens, and then if both of you keep working at the healing the relationship, eventually your libido will return. Keep him sexually satisfied in the meantime and don’t expect that your desire for sex ever has to match his. You need to get to the point where you do have orgasms, but you need only have them as often as you want to have them. But for you to have any desire for sex at all, you absolutely need to have a good relationship.