How can I get my roommate to like me or how can I get over her?
ImageI am in college and share an apartment with three people- two guys from my fraternity and one girl. She has been pretty much my best friend for a year and a half now. She used to date my current roommate and still seems to be in love (obsessed with) him. My problem is that I seem to have fallen for her. I don't want to like her because she has shown no "affection" toward me. She is just obsessed with my roommate, but all I can think about is her. My roommate doesn't really seem to like her. He doesn't not like her, but shows no real emotion toward her, at least not in public at all. What I am asking is how can I get her to like me, or how can I get over liking her? It is hard on account of we live in the same apartment and hangout pretty much everyday.

 

 

ImageI am certainly not surprised by any of what you are reporting. If societies have maintained a separation of the sexes throughout the millennia, theres a reason for it. You put several young people together then crushes are going to develop. And if the crushes arent mutual, then situations like yours turn up and since you all live together, its a problem. If you didnt live together, you could say to yourself, shes not interested in me, Ill stay away from her so that my emotions can calm down and I can look for someone who is interested in me. But because shes always around you, thats a lot more difficult.
By the way, its this type of reaction which is the reason I tell couples not to bring a third person into the bedroom with which to have sex. What may start out as just sex can turn into an emotional situation and who knows whether the couples relationship will survive?

If you could move out of there, that would probably be the best thing, but you probably have a lease and it wont be possible. In that case, try to spend as much time away from the apartment as possible. Study in the library. Hang out with other friends. Use the gym. Eat at the cafeteria. Just go to your room to sleep. Maybe that way youll free up enough emotional space to be able to find someone else to take her place.

 
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