I'm 29 years old and have never had sex with a woman. I had many girlfriends, but every time when we wanted to have sex, I could not get an erection.

I was very nervous every time and it was very, very frustrating. Because I was so frustrated, I began to masturbate while looking at pornography. Now, I think I can't get an erection without these pictures or films. I am not hooked to porn, but it does not work without it I think. I have no idea what I could do. I cannot deal with this problem.

I wonder what you mean by the term girlfriend. Do you mean someone whom you dated a few times and then tried to have sex with her, or do you mean someone whom you were dating for several months and had a close relationship and then tried to have sex? If it’s the former, then I’m not surprised that you had these problems. You and these women weren’t very close, and since you were having problems in bed, they decided to give up on you, or maybe it was you who decided to give up on them because you were embarrassed.

What you must do is find one woman to fall in love with, and her to fall in love with you, before you try to have sex. Then you have to be honest with her and tell her you have this problem. Given a little time, I guarantee you that you will be able to have sex together. Your “equipment” works since you can masturbate. Your problem is psychological. You’re afraid that you’re going to have a problem with your erection and that fear causes the problem. But if you’re with a woman who is invested in a relationship with you, together you can work on this. Even if you do fail a few times, you’ll gain confidence that she’s not going to leave you over this, and that confidence will help you to successfully have intercourse. If you really can’t do this on your own, then see a sex therapist, but right now your first job is to find a woman with whom to create a strong and meaningful relationship. Shortly after that, your sex problems will disappear.