Should I try to make it work with my dishonest husband?
ImageI am a 29-year-old female and my husband of seven years is 46. In the past few years I have found numerous personal ads that he has placed online for himself. When I confront him, he always says that he was just "fooling around" and he really didn't want anyone but me. A few months ago, I again found another ad he placed- this time for the both of us. I did not consent to the ad being placed. To make a long story short, he and another woman from this site started corresponding and sending explicit messages to each other. A month later, I went for my Pap and was told I had trichomosis. When I confronted him, he denied any wrongdoing and suggested it was me. He has not gone to the doctor yet for the antibiotic and as a result, we have not had sex for over two months. I guess my question is, does he love me? Should I try to make this work?

ImageI think the answer is that this relationship is in serious trouble, and probably you should separate. But before you make that decision, first you should look at the relationship as a whole. You wrote to me about your sexual problems. (And the fact that you two havent had sex in months and hes chosen not to go to the doctor to remedy this situation is an indication that hes getting his sexual release elsewhere, though that could be from masturbation.) But how is the relationship in other aspects? Do you talk? Does he offer you companionship? Does he say he loves you? Does he help around the house? How are your financial arrangements working out? If there is trouble in each of these areas, then Id say to speak to a lawyer. If the problems are only in the sexual arena, then you should see a counselor as maybe you can repair this situation. The problems you two are having with your sex life may be a symptom of larger issues, or they may stand alone and then with a little effort could be repairable. So make a complete analysis of the relationship and then act accordingly.

 
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