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| How can I express my desire for more physical intimacy? |
 I'm a 30-year-old virgin with little physical experience of any kind with the female of our species (or any other species for that manner).
For the last month and a half I have been dating a woman who is by most standards, very sexually liberated. We have been seeing each other at least twice a week for the last five or six weeks, and I have quickly become enamored by her for reasons too numerous to mention.She was extremely surprised to learn about my inexperience on our third date, but was patient and understanding suggesting that that was a "problem we could do something about." Since then, however, we have never progressed beyond kissing, as she has explained that given knowledge of my virginity at so advanced an age, she is nervous in a way she has not been. She explained it as being akin to extra nakedness. Whilst not "in the heat of the moment," I have expressed my frustration, with the evening having to end prematurely, a feeling I quickly recanted as I wanted her to know how much I enjoy her company even in the absence of physical relations. However, I am beginning to feel that she dismisses my growing frustration a bit too easily, and I am left to my own devices on each subsequent evening. The consistent excuse is that she has to get up early the next morning. So, we have begun going out earlier and earlier, but we always stay out too long talking late into the night. I honestly don't know if that is by her design, be it conscious or subconscious, or simply that we have connected so quickly, that there is always so much to talk about. I assume the latter, but fear the former. It is also possible she may be waiting for me to take more initiative, as she has mentioned my lack of aggression. I, having so little experience, do not want to overstep any unspoken boundary, nor do I truly wish to create false or unnecessary limits by using an improper approach either in word or deed. How can I best approach/demonstrate my desire for more physical intimacy, in a manner least likely to offend or degrade her? Is it possible that she simply has no interest in me sexually and is simply trying to be polite in communicating that? Lastly, I noticed in other posts you were advocating lying as a method of dealing with the subject of virginity. As that ship has well sailed, I have to ask, is there a potentially insurmountable obstacle without this omission?
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I don’t think I can give you a straightforward answer because this is a very complicated situation and without talking to her, it’s impossible for me to know what is going through her mind. One possibility is that she feels that if she did have sex with you, because it would be taking your virginity, that she would have to commit to you, and she’s not ready to make that commitment. If that’s the case, then you just have to continue to be yourself and convince her that the two of you are in a serious relationship that deserves to move forward.
