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We Are Both Waiting For the Other Person To Make the First Move - HELP!

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Home

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Dr. Ruth's Q & A

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For Her

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For Him

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For 50 & Over

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Sexuality-Encyclopedia

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Ask a Question

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Tips from the Lips

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Dr. Ruth Around Town

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I have a Tip

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All About Dr. Ruth

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Dr. Ruth Reviews

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Media Contact

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Dr. Ruth Gallery

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We Are Both Waiting For the Other Person To Make the First Move - HELP!
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ImageI am 58. My wife is 47. She has much more experience than me. She has done everything a person can do. I would go so far as to say she had a sex addiction. Still, neither of us knows how to approach the other. She is used to men making all the moves. I was raised in Catholic schools and cannot bring myself to paw a woman in an attempt to interest her in sex. I do not know how to approach her. I see sex as an emotional and spiritual connection. She sees it as "scratching an itch." I love her deeply but do not know how to approach her. I cannot do what her other men did. I am not that way I like things slow and relaxed and "spiritual." I am slow, like to nuzzle, cuddle and let things blossom. She just says, "Hey, want to make out?" She is always waiting for me, and I for her.

Any ideas? Thank you

 

ImageTheres a lot going on here and the best thing would be for the two of you to see a sex therapist. But lets see what I can do given the limitations of having to answer you on this site. At your age, Im going to guess that you dont feel quite the effects of sexual arousal that you once did. You may be at or approaching the stage that you require physical stimulation in order to have an erection, whereas when you were younger, just thinking about sex was enough to give you one. And so you want to take it slow to give yourself time to get fully aroused. Now theres nothing wrong with that, its part of the aging process, but if Im right, and especially if you didnt know that this was going to happen to you, then that may be part of the problem. Youre waiting for this signal, becoming erect, to let you know that youre ready for sex, and its not arriving the way it used to. In a sense, you may be in need of foreplay the way women need it. It doesnt mean you need Viagra, but just some physical stimulation. But, of course, that complicates matters with your wife. I also appreciate that your upbringing is a factor, but with so many factors at play, you have to figure out a game plan. I suggest that you have a long talk with your wife and see if you can create a game plan that works for the two of you. In other words, develop a method of starting sex without needing for the two of you to be fully aroused, understanding that it may not always work, but could. If you cant do that, then go to see a sex therapist, or some other professional, who can help the two of you solve this problem.
 
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Image
Tips From The Lips.
People, Places & Things That Make You Feel Sexy.

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She can't orgasm
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She can't orgasm
Read more...
 
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