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Why Can't He Orgasm From Sex? |
 This is going to sound ridiculous, but trust me, it's breaking my heart. My boyfriend is an incredible lover - he's devoted to my pleasure, makes me orgasm multiple times a session, and has no trouble getting an erection and keeping it up.
The problem is that he rarely orgasms himself. He loves sex and we have sex regularly, but he only orgasms about 1/3 of the time. He blames it on stress or fatigue, but then wouldn't he have a hard time even getting erect? He also says that he's trained himself so well not to premature ejaculate, that it's difficult for him to let go at all. I know I should be counting my blessings to have such an exciting and thoughtful lover, but when he doesn't orgasm, I feel like crying - and like I'm a selfish monster, or unattractive to him, or just a bad lover. I keep trying new techniques and making him the center of attention, but nothing works. Please help!
 Your question isn’t ridiculous at all. Of course you want him to get sexual satisfaction from having sex with you. The problem is called spectatoring. He’s so conscious of what is going on, an approach I assume he developed in order to control his ability to ejaculate, that he can’t let go and enjoy himself. And the more he worries about this, the harder it becomes. Here’s my suggestion: when he’s ready to have an orgasm, in other words he’s satisfied you, he should concentrate on some very sexual fantasy so that he can stop watching himself. If that doesn’t work, then he should consult with a sex therapist.
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