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| Better Sex After 60? |
 I am in a relationship with a man that I have known for over 20 years.
We had an affair years ago, had sexual relations but the relationship ended about 5 years ago. He is now divorced and we have re-connected. He is 65, I'm 60. The attempts at sex weren't what either one of us thought it was going to be. He needs to lose weight, snores so loud I can't sleep the times we have gone on trips or stayed the night together. When we have tried to have sex, I don't get wet, and so it hurts when he attempts to get me wet by inserting his finger in me and he doesn't have an erection (he does have Viagra now, but because of my pain doesn't take it). We haven't gone to bed in months and there is little intimacy in our relationship anymore. I had to bring it up because he didn't. I find our relationship isn't what we both thought it was going to be after his divorce. I want to continue seeing this man because I do love him and I know he loves me. My question is: do I seek out a therapist because of my inability to want to attempt sex, or do we try to ease back into a sexual relationship slowly by kissing, making out and fondling?
 I think the answer to your question isn’t therapy but a practical one: use a lubricant. Many women your age stop producing enough natural lubrication in order to have pain-free sex, or even having a finger inserted into their vagina. By using a lubricant, you can avoid the pain, and combined with his Viagra, you should be able to have a good sex life. So try using a lubricant, see what happens and then let me know.
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