He constantly tells me he loves me, and that I am the love of his life, I'm so beautiful, etc. etc. Over the past 5 years, he worked a lot and we grew very distant. I may have fallen out of love with him. We barely had sex, and I learned to not even miss it. I finally told him how unsatisfied I was, and now he is doing anything and everything to fix and save our marriage. The problem is, physically, I feel nothing. I get along with him very well, and we have a 4 year old daughter. I can want sex, and be craving it, but when we get together I'm just there. The craving and desire is gone. He is in heaven, but it's more like hell for me. I almost cry every time because I should get turned on by him and want to attack him as much as he wants to pounce on me. Can this be fixed? Should I live a life w/o passion because everything else (money, companionship, daughter) is perfect? I feel like a huge part of me is missing. I love to attack and be attacked...why aren't my hormones working for my husband?

You’ve got a lot at stake here, as you point out, and writing to me was the first step. Now you’ve got to take the second one, which is to go see either a sex therapist or marriage counselor. I can’t possibly figure out what’s going on from my vantage point. You need to sit down, one on one, with a professional who will ask you a lot of questions and get to the bottom of this. It’s not a sexual problem, but a psychological one. Something about the relationship or your life (for example if you are very unsatisfied with your job, that could effect your libido) is stopping you from getting aroused by your husband. You need help in finding out what it is, and only after you find the cause will you be able to figure out what to do. Hopefully the therapist will be able to help you overcome whatever is blocking your libido. On the other hand, maybe the two of you are incompatible, for whatever reason, and if that’s the case, then you shouldn’t live a life without passion but need to move on. But you shouldn’t go on living with this problem while in the dark about the cause. So get the help you need to get to the root of the problem and then you’ll be able to take positive action.