We find it very difficult to find time for each other, but one thing especially I’ve noticed. If we don’t have sex for a couple of days, he’s so crabby. Once we do have sex he’s in a lot better mood. I don’t understand- I can go without! Help! Thanks.

Men and women are different. Obviously they’re different physically, but there are also psychological differences, and one of those differences has to do with sexual arousal. A man can get aroused much more easily than a woman, in general. Women need more time to get aroused and if they’re distracted, and a job and 3 young children are most certainly distractions, that can push their level of arousal way down and so they’re not interested in having sex. Clearly that’s what is happening in your case. Now on one level women are lucky because even if they are not aroused they can have sex. If it was the opposite and a man couldn’t get aroused, he couldn’t have an erection and therefore he couldn’t have sex. So you can definitely keep your husband from getting out of sorts because he’s sexually frustrated by allowing him to have sex with you. But you should also make sure that there are times when rather than just having sex, the two of you are both aroused and are making passionate love with one another. So because of your difficult schedules, I would strongly urge the two of you to make dates where you would get away from the house and the kids and have some time for yourselves. If it can’t be a whole weekend, then even just an evening where you can have dinner and spend a few hours in a motel would be worthwhile. I’d want you to think about that coming date for a few days ahead of time which will allow you to slowly build up your level of arousal so that by the time you walked out the door you’d already be slightly aroused. Hopefully the two of you would have an amorous night and that would help to cement your relationship. I understand that you can’t make sex a priority every day, but don’t let your sex life fall apart altogether or it can be damaging to your overall relationship. So develop a plan that will maintain it at a level that keeps you both satisfied.