My wife likes to hold hands, kiss, snuggle, which I enjoy very much, but she can not even brush up against me, without me getting an erection. We are intimate, anywhere from 3 to 6 times a week. I wake her up in the middle of the night, and then she can not go back to sleep, but if I do not wake her up I can not sleep. She works me up inside so bad it is not even funny. It has gotten to the point where she avoids me especially when she has her period. She has started sleeping on the couch because I rub on her in my sleep, and she says my hands are so hot that she cannot sleep with me. I was wondering if you could help me decrease my sex drive or even kill it? Do you know any one that can tell me why my hands are so hot? I am desperate, please help me before my wife gets fed up with me.

Killing your sex drive is a ridiculous idea, not that I would know how you could do that other than being castrated, and I don’t know if even that kills your sex drive entirely. I’m sure your wife enjoys making love; just not in the middle of the night. So I have two things to say to you. The first is, just because you get an erection doesn’t mean that you have to have sex. I know there is such a thing as “blue balls,” a pain that a man can get if he has an erection and it won’t go away for quite some time and then leaves him with an ache, but do you get that just from having an erection for a few minutes? It would seem to me that if you got an erection from hugging your wife that a few minutes after the hug it would disappear on its own. So perhaps if you got over this feeling that you have to have an orgasm each time you get an erection, that would solve much of the problem. And if you do get an overpowering need to have an orgasm at night, that would keep you from sleeping, how about masturbating? That would relieve the sexual tension without forcing your wife to sleep on the couch.