I am a healthy married female in my mid 30's. I have never had an orgasm. What I mean to say is. I have had many missed orgasms, but never an orgasm. When I get too excited I lose bladder control. It is not female ejaculate that much I do know. How do I know if I have had an orgasm? Help me before I am too old. 

It is understandable that a loss of bladder control might interrupt the arousal process leading to orgasm, so I have a few ideas for you. First of all, make sure that you empty your bladder before engaging in sex. That way you’ll know that the most that you could leak would be a few drops. Secondly, since you know you have this problem, put some sort of padding underneath you so that you do not have to worry about dirtying the sheets. Removing that worry will go a long way towards helping you reach orgasm. Finally, don’t assume because you are interrupted by a loss of bladder control, or any other distraction for that matter, that this particular sexual experience is over and done with. Yes, your level of arousal may go down, but that doesn’t mean that it can’t go back up again. So don’t give up, but keep trying and hopefully you can become orgasmic on your own. If you continue to have problems, then I suggest that you see a sex therapist.