We are very happy with each other and spend a lot of time together. We have been married 3 years in April of 2007 and been together for 5 years. Our sex lives have been great with no complaints. Recently my husband has not been interested in sex as much, and I am worried that our sex life will stop. I constantly argue with him about making love to me and tell him my feelings are hurt for him not wanting to satisfy me (at times I feel there is someone else) I have talked to him about this plenty of times and he states” he does not know why”. When I try to get him interested he will lay there and watch TV as I nibble his ear or suck on his neck and then he gets up to get coffee, I finally give up. When I bring this to his attention he states he just was not interested in having sex, so I basically wasted my time. I feel upset and depressed that he is not interested in me and I cry all the time. Usually we had sex 3-4 times a week and now it’s once every weekend and I have to ask if he’s willing or wanting to have sex. At times I feel its pity sex so he will shut me up and make me happy, what can I do? Should I have him be seen by a Doctor? I if I don’t get more loving I am going explode.

The problem with a question such as yours is that there could be multiple answers to this situation. For example, you’re afraid he’s having an affair. Is there other evidence for that? If there is, then maybe that’s what is going on. But it could also be a medical problem. If he’s overweight, maybe poor circulation is causing him to have problems obtaining and maintaining erections and he’s ashamed of these problems and so is avoiding sex rather than owning up to them. But it could also be psychological, so that if he is having problems at work, if he thinks he’s about to lose his job, then those worries could overwhelm any desire for sex. So you see, while I’d like to help you, I can’t unless you get to the bottom of this. Going to a sex therapist would be your best bet. Even if he won’t go at first, go by yourself and the therapist may be able to help you get him to go too.