I am at a loss as how to deal with this. I rip and tear very easily. I have landed in the ER twice now. I always have to ask any man I date if he is more than 6-7 in long if he is, I have to end the relationship. And I still have to be very careful with a smaller partner or the same thing happens. I would like a good not great sex life. Please let me know any thoughts you may have.

As you may know, I’m only 4’7” and that has presented certain problems in many aspects of life, and yet I was able to become “Dr. Ruth.” Here’s one example of what’s happened to me. I went skiing with a man who was well over 6 foot tall. The ski area had T-bars and he and I really didn’t fit together. There was a shorter man nearby and I said to my date, “I’m going to the top of the hill with this short one here.” As we were riding up the hill, I decided that this man was the one for me, and we ended up getting married and were together for over 35 years before he passed away.

Yes, having to ask men the size of their penis before you get very far into a relationship is more difficult that not having to raise such a delicate issue. On the bright side, if you can bring yourself to raise that subject, you can probably also dare to ask potential lovers about the state of their sexual health, i.e. whether or not they’ve been tested for an STD, so that might end up saving you from catching some STD. And I bet that having an open conversation about sex early on in a relationship will also help your sex life, because communication is so important to good sex, so that maybe you can have a great sex life rather than only a good one. Yes you’re going to have to adapt to this “curse” but maybe in the end you’ll wind up looking at it as a blessing in disguise.