She was hurt and felt alone when I traveled a lot w/my job and became very withdrawn. She had a one night extramarital affair and we have been seeing a counselor for about a year. I love her very much, have never been unfaithful and forgive her, although I still struggle greatly w/the thought of her being w/another man......Sex has become an issue. She says she doesn't feel much of anything anymore. Says it must be emotional as she does remember it as pleasing in the early days. Can you recommend a book for help. We've never really been allowed to discuss sex, so I'm hoping a book will allow her to express what's going on...or not. She's very intelligent, but can't seem to allow herself to discuss it.

While I certainly recommend that people read books when they have a problem, that’s usually a precurser to seeing a counselor. The two of you are already seeing a counselor, so I don’t think a book is what you need. What I would recommend at this point is a full assessment with the counselor you are seeing, and if this person doesn’t hold out much hope, then I would advise you to seek out another one. Not every therapist is right for every situation, and if this person hasn’t been able to help you in all this time, then it very well might be time for a change. For example, I don’t understand why you haven’t been “allowed to discuss sex.” The state of your sexual relations should absolutely be something that a counselor should be raising. If this person isn’t capable of dealing with this issue, then it’s time to find someone else who will.