How Can I Discuss Sex With My Wife?
ImageMy wife and I have been married for many years. We have had problems over the past communicating with each other.

She was hurt and felt alone when I traveled a lot w/my job and became very withdrawn. She had a one night extramarital affair and we have been seeing a counselor for about a year. I love her very much, have never been unfaithful and forgive her, although I still struggle greatly w/the thought of her being w/another man......Sex has become an issue. She says she doesn't feel much of anything anymore. Says it must be emotional as she does remember it as pleasing in the early days. Can you recommend a book for help. We've never really been allowed to discuss sex, so I'm hoping a book will allow her to express what's going on...or not. She's very intelligent, but can't seem to allow herself to discuss it.

ImageWhile I certainly recommend that people read books when they have a problem, thatís usually a precurser to seeing a counselor. The two of you are already seeing a counselor, so I donít think a book is what you need. What I would recommend at this point is a full assessment with the counselor you are seeing, and if this person doesnít hold out much hope, then I would advise you to seek out another one. Not every therapist is right for every situation, and if this person hasnít been able to help you in all this time, then it very well might be time for a change. For example, I donít understand why you havenít been ďallowed to discuss sex.Ē The state of your sexual relations should absolutely be something that a counselor should be raising. If this person isnít capable of dealing with this issue, then itís time to find someone else who will.

 

 
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