I know that she is a great woman, but I am concerned with the current state of our sex life. There is nothing "exciting" that goes on in the bedroom. We are in the same positions all of the time, and she is not into trying anything new, such as a threesome, watching porn with me, anal sex, ejaculation on the face, making our own home videos, etc. She is seemingly too "old fashioned" where as I am into trying just about anything to keep things fresh! It's as if we are "stuck" with the same thing over and over and over. I feel that if nothing changes, this could hurt our relationship. I find myself fantasizing more and more about other women, and I fell guilty. I want to have a great sex life with her, because she is a great woman. How can I convince her to do one or more of the things I mentioned above? Or, how can I get her to tell me about her fantasies, which she seemingly does not have? Please help! Thank you for your time.

In my opinion, you’ve been spending too much time looking at sex sites on the web. I am all for variety and keeping boredom at bay, but your suggestions are coming straight out of a porn site, not that of a romantic lover. For example, why would she want to have you ejaculate on her face? What would she get out of that? Almost everything you mention would never have been part of anyone’s sexual repertoire a few decades ago. And I’m not surprised that she won’t say anything about what she wants because she’s probably afraid that if you agree to do something that she’d like, you’re going to demand that she allow you to humiliate her in some way.

Since you’re going to get married, you must know her really well. Why don’t you think about what she might enjoy that’s different, rather than suggest only things that you’ve found arousing when surfing the Net. If she’s a fan of history, maybe you could role-play famous historical characters. Or take her to a fancy hotel for an evening. Or when the weather gets warmer, take her for a picnic in some secluded woods. I’m sure if you put your mind to it you can find ways of adding variety to your sex life that you’ll enjoy too but that won’t make her cringe