I told him how much it hurt me that he chose to look at porn rather than have sex with me, and that it made me feel that i wasn't cutting it for him. He promised me that he wouldn't do it again. After that we didn't have a computer for a while and 2 months ago it was connected to the internet again. He broke his promise the first day. I again confronted him about it and he lied and tried to make me be the bad guy saying i had no right to accuse him. I had proof and again he promised me that he would never do it again because he knew how much it hurt me. Then 2 days ago, which also happened to be the first time he had access to the computer alone, he was looking again! He won't explain why he wants to look at porn to me and wont say anything when I try to talk about the porn issue or his broken promises. I feel disrespected, hurt and unattractive to him. Why does he have to look at pornography? And why does he lie and break promises about it?

He won’t explain to you why he likes to look at porn because you wouldn’t accept the truth. Men like to look at porn because it’s sexually arousing, and sex within a relationship can get a little boring after a while. With any luck, a man will use that arousal to have sex with his partner, so in that case it’s a good thing. It’s true that some men get so wrapped up in porn that they find themselves masturbating so much that they never feel like having sex with their wife. If that happens, the marriage may be over. But that’s not usually the case. And after all, other men who get bored with their sex life at home cheat with another woman. Certainly looking at a little porn would seem like the better option.
Of course I have to admit that the nature of porn has changed. It was much less addictive when it was limited to a few magazines. There’s so much of it now on the Internet and it’s so easily available, and mostly free, that it makes it harder to stop. But while it’s true that there was a time when a man found the sight of a woman’s ankle to be arousing, those days are gone, especially when today you can see women who are practically naked walking down the street. But whatever the source of arousal, men like to look. It’s hard wired into their brains, it seems.
So the question you have to ask yourself is whether the glass is half empty or half full. Is he indulging in a little sexual arousal on the side or is he headed towards going off the deep end?  The one piece of advice I have for you is don’t take it personally. Men aren’t emotionally