Is There Something Wrong Psychologically?

Image I am a 32 yr old male, recently separated from the marine corps after 8yrs and 3 combat tours.  I live with my girlfriend of 9 months and we are extremely happy.  She is beautiful, and I have no problem finding myself attracted to her.  However, when we are in bed I’ve found myself not being able to perform.

I am able to achieve an erection with no problem during foreplay, but once I reach for my condom, it goes away and is hard to achieve again.  So we both get frustrated.  She thinks I’m not attracted to her anymore, which is not the case at all!  I can’t figure out what is wrong and why I am doing this and it’s driving me insane!  I have no problem achieving an orgasm with masturbation so I know it’s not a medical problem.  Do you have any ideas?  Thank you!

ImageYour problem is psychological. One time, when you were about to begin intercourse, you had some disturbing thought. No point speculating what it was, but it took your attention, and so your level of arousal dropped and you lost your erection. It happens to every man from time to time, no matter how attracted he is to his partner, and it happens to women too, though they can continue with intercourse. This is not a big deal, unless you remember what happened the next time, and begin worrying that it will happen again. Then those worries trigger the same response and you enter a vicious cycle.

What you need to do is learn to push aside those worrisome thoughts. One way that I would advise is to come up with a very erotic fantasy ahead of time. It doesn’t matter what it is, but work out the details so that you can make it last for a few minutes. Then, when you’re about to make love, concentrate on this fantasy. Use it to push out the negative thoughts. That should work. If it doesn’t, make an appointment to see a sex therapist.

 
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