I am 33; my husband is 35. We have been married eight years and have two children. My husband insists on having sex four to five times a week. He even marks on my calendar the days he wants me to be available. Is this normal? Is he asking for too much? I am not very attractive so I don't know what his motivation could be. Any advice you could give would be helpful. Thank you very much for your time.

Now, I don't think that marking down on a calendar when you're going to have sex is romantic, but your reaction shows that the problem is two-sided. Why do you think that you are so unattractive to your husband? He married you. He's fathered two children with you. He wants to make love to you four to five times a week. To me that doesn't sound like someone who's not attracted to you.

This may be an obvious question, but since you definitely have a problem with self-esteem I must ask it -- do you enjoy making love with him? Do you have orgasms, or do you fake them, or do you just lie there? The answer to that question is very important. If there's mutual pleasure involved, then you should probably overlook his making such detailed plans. But if you don't enjoy it -- ever -- then you have to do something about your situation. You should probably consult a psychologist to discuss your own problems with low self-esteem first. My guess is that once you fix that, many of your attitudes will change and the way your husband treats you might change as well.