My boyfriend and I have been together for many years, but because of our work lives, we never spent more than one or two days a week together. When that day or two came around, we spent every moment together. We spent most of our time cuddled up on the couch, and when the feeling was right, we couldn't wait to get each others clothes off. Well, we recently moved in together, and that has all changed.

I bet a lot is my fault because I just can't adjust to him being there with me, but spending his time doing his own thing. I feel hurt, like he doesn't want to spend time with me, but it's just the fact that we spent every moment of our little bit of time together before, and now we are living in the same house and I guess it's taking me a while to get used to doing our separate things  while in each other's presence. One example would be that he likes to play computer games to unwind after work, and in the morning on weekends while he's drinking his coffee. Am I just jealous or overly sensitive? Why do I feel like when we're home together, he should spend all his time with me? Any advice?

I wonder if you come from a divorced family. I say that because you should naturally use your parents as an example of what married life, which is what you’re doing though only living together, is all about. No couple spends every moment together. You each do need some space. How much differs for every individual, but you can’t expect to be constantly cuddling. So if your parents were divorced when you were very young, perhaps you never got to see what two people living together are like, and therefore have these high expectations. Also, if you come from such a home, you may be more prone not to trust your partner, especially if your father left because he was cheating.

Of course maybe you don’t come from a broken home and just have unrealistic expectations. You certainly shouldn’t be “jealous” of video games, unless he’s spending an inordinate amount of time with them. What I would suggest to you is to find ways of unwinding together. One or two nights a week, meet him outside of the house and go someplace, for an intimate dinner or for a walk or a game of tennis. Set up situations where you are doing things together and he’ll be less likely to play video games. But that you should both have some personal time where you’re occupied on something other than each other is perfectly normal.