Hello... I'm 18 years old and recently moved to a new town. I left my boyfriend when i moved. We had a very healthy sexual relationship. Before him however my sexual experiences hadn't exactly been pleasing. I was never raped but I  never enjoyed any sexual encounter I had either. I gave up my virginity at 14 and slightly regretted it. I thought it was love but he took what he wanted and ran. I have since learned to live with it and before this last boyfriend thought that i was simply incapable of feeling pleasure durring intercourse. My last relationship changed my mind, and since then even though I'm miles away I miss his hands. The boy had talent we'll leave it at that. My question is, should I be worried that my sexual drive has multiplied ten fold since him and that sex seems to be on my mind 24-7.

 

Your question certainly took a sudden turn at the end, didn’t it? But I think your question and your past are linked. Many young women, and while 14 was certainly young what is more important than their age is their inexperience, find that they have problems having orgasms. This is usually due to their lack of knowledge of  how to bring themselves to orgasm, and the lack of ability of their partners. For them, sex is like a faucet. They don’t know how to turn it on, and so nothing comes out. But then when they do figure it out, there’s a torrent. It seems that’s what happened to you. You weren’t getting any sexual satisfaction, either from partners or through masturbation. Then one young man taught you how to have orgasms and now that he’s not around any more to satisfy the need he awoke in you, you are sexually frustrated and think about sex all the time.

Because finding another partner may take some time, I would urge you to masturbate. If you’re not always sexually frustrated, you won’t be thinking about sex so much.   You should also start the process of finding a new partner.  That search will take up part of your mind, leaving a little less left over for thinking about sex. It’s not that I’m against thinking about sex, but since you wrote to me, it obviously is bothering you, and may also be so distracting that it keeps you from doing well at other things, like your studies. Good luck in finding that new partner.