Help Me Solve My Impossible Situation

ImageI have been involved in an impossible situation for 5 years with a man who lives with his girlfriend of seven years. We have the most unbelievable sex, it is so intense yet he stays with her. I am a divorced single mother of 2 children. I feel I am in love with him & when we are together I feel he intensely attracted to me, yet we never discuss the situation. I am afraid to tell him my true feelings for fear the affair will end and I really need the time we are together. I know that this relationship is unhealthy, but I don't know what to do? Do you have any suggestions? Thanks in advance for the advice!!

ImageLet's be honest. If you were to discuss this situation with him, do you think it's likely that he'd leave his girlfriend for you? I know you two have great sex, but he may also have great sex with her. If he was displeased with her, he would have told you, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I think you know that you can't have him all to yourself and that's why you haven't pushed him during all these passing years.

Using the above assumption, you basically have two choices. You could let things remain the way they are or you could decide that you want someone who is entirely yours and who could actually live with you. I believe the two are incompatible. As long as he is in your life, and you're waiting by the phone for him to call, keeping yourself available, then you'll never find someone else.

I can't tell you what to do. You have to decide. If you decide that you've reached a point where you want to have a man all to yourself, then I suggest you have that talk with him, knowing full well that he may leave, and if he does, then you have to break this affair off completely and push yourself to find someone else.

One more word of caution. If you do give him an ultimatum, he may try to string you along in some way. He's had the best of both worlds and he may not want to give this situation up. This will make it harder on you, but you have to be strong. Your relationship with him has been somewhat like an addiction. Just the way you can't give up cigarettes or drugs without undergoing some painful withdrawal, the same thing will happen in this case. If you are not strong, you could drift along in this relationship for another five years, and at that point it would probably be even harder to find someone new.

 
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