I feel ashamed. During sex when I am top, I do not know what to do. How do I position my legs and what do I do? I usually feel stupid being there. I want to take control but do not know how!

Here’s what I suggest you do. The next time you are going to make love, give yourself five minutes for you to be in top. At the end of five minutes, go on to other positions. What this will do is remove the pressure to perform. You’ll know that probably neither of you is going to have an orgasm in those five minutes, so that really it is a part of foreplay; a little game that you are playing. Since you can’t “fail” maybe you’ll be able to relax a bit and experiment. Do that for four or five times until you start to get more comfortable. Then give it a serious try, where the aim is to actually stay on top. Hopefully by this point you will have learned what works and what doesn’t for you during those practice sessions and you’ll be able to handle being on top without any difficulty. If it still doesn’t work, then give this position a rest for a month or so, and start all over with the five minute sessions.