She will only have sex if we have something to smoke or drink to get in the mood. I try to get her hot in every way I can think of. She does have endometriosis but if she gets real hot it doesn't hurt at all. Please help me. In general, males can become aroused much more quickly than females. Show a man a picture of a naked lady and he can get an instant erection. Women take longer to become aroused and if you become aroused and think that you can get your wife aroused in a short amount of time, the odds are that you'll fail just because you are putting pressure on her. What you have to do is get her aroused slowly and have a little patience, knowing that at some point she'll let you know that she's ready. For example, if you're interested in having sex that night, bring her a cup of coffee in bed that morning. Prepare the way slowly and you'll have much more success. On the other hand, if you get angry at her all the time, and then think that by acting sweet for ten minutes will ever work, forget it. And I would suggest you avoid using the term "give it up." Just hearing that phrase would turn most women off.

Where a man can run into trouble is when his wife has lots of outside pressures that aren't under his control. He can be as loving as he likes but if she's feeling terrible because her boss is a lout, then she's not going to get aroused. Under normal circumstances, a wife might allow her husband to have intercourse without taking an active part, but you say that unless your wife is very aroused, intercourse causes her pain. Now I wonder if that's true because you also say that she needs to be high. Could that high deaden the pain? Perhaps there is some other medication that she could take that would allow her to have sex more frequently by reducing the pain without alcohol or some other substance. I suggest that the two of you got o see her gynecologist and talk about this.