We Both Cheated -- Should We Try to Make it Work?
ImageI have been with the same man since 1990 and I do love him very much. We have been married for almost two years and we both have been unfaithful to each other.

Can we get through this? My lover that I had, asked me why I dry up in the middle of sex? I never use too before. My husband did not seem to want me even before the affair, what can I do?

Image Youíve spent twelve years with this man and my question is, how much satisfaction have you had, sexually, of course, but also from the relationship as a whole? From what I can gather, I would surmise your answer might be, ďNot very much.Ē I know that change is scary, and you say you love him, but it seems to me that some changes need to be made. Iím not necessarily saying that you have to leave him, but thatís certainly a possibility. You need to go for some marital therapy. If he wonít accompany you, then go by yourself. You need to sort through what has been happening and decide whether or not it is worthwhile going forward. To do this youíre going to have to take off the rose-colored glasses of love. Youíre going to have to look at this relationship objectively, as if from the perspective of an outsider, to judge what is really going on. I know how hard that can be to do by yourself, which is why Iím suggesting professional counseling.Iím not going to say that youíve wasted the past dozen years, because perhaps the relationship had more to give in the earlier stages, but you certainly donít want to waste any more of your precious time, so make that appointment as soon as possible.†

 
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