We have a normal sex life, which both of us enjoy but he says he has to do this for his own satisfaction. I think if someone has a satisfied sex life there is no need for porn and more when he does it behind my back. He has cut back a lot since but he continues to do this. I love him very much but cannot bear the thought of him watching other women and masturbating as well.

Certainly he is exaggerating when he says he cannot live without masturbating, on the other hand, what you find to be “normal” may not be sufficiently satisfying to him. Have you offered to have sex more often, or add some variety to your sex life? While I can understand that you don’t appreciate the competition of porn, it’s possible that you would prefer having him masturbate to spending the extra time it would take to have sex with him. People are not Siamese twins and so it’s natural to have different sexual appetites. To work out an acceptable middle ground will take some compromises on the part of both partners. And such compromises have to be reached within the reality of the entire relationship. So if your relationship has some sourness to it, then that’s likely to make you resent his activities even more. For example if you don’t feel that he is doing his share of the household duties, then you’re going to be less likely to cut him some slack in this area. But while you need to talk about this and work out some compromises, the final outcome may not be that he agrees to stop such practices entirely. If that’s the case, then I think that you both need to put a little distance between yourselves on this topic. He needs to be more discreet and you need to give him some privacy which will help you to push these thoughts out of your head. If you dwell on them, it will only make the situation worse.