For the past four years he has found a way to lose a job or run up a phone bill with sex lines.  I have lost my home phone 3 times.  He also lies to me and becomes really angry when I ask him a question.  He never tells me when he works. I have to find out for my self.  He flirts with other girls at work. Also what are the warning signs of another spouse having an affair?  And when is it time to call it quits?

You started off with one question, but ended with a much different one. The first is a general question, and the answer would be, it depends. If one person in a relationship is perfectly satisfied with the amount of sex he or she is having, and the other wants more, and turns to anonymous phone sex in order to have that extra sex, then it's really not much different than masturbating to some other form of erotica. (If the person is having phone sex with someone they know, and the same person all the time, that would be different.) On the other hand, if one person is engaging in phone sex and their partner would like to have more sex but is getting turned down, then it is a problem.

But phone sex isn't the only problem in your relationship. You have a long list of issues with your partner, and I think the time may be right to call it quits. Of course only you can make that decision. Sometimes people need the help of a therapist, and if you're unsure of what to do, then I would recommend that you consult with a marital therapist. Talking it out with someone may give you a clearer picture. And, that also opens up the possibility of your partner going also. It's not a sure thing that seeing a therapist would help him get rid of what appears to be an addiction to phone sex, as well as a nasty streak, but it's possible so worth a try.