I Don't Want to Lose my Boyfriend Over Sex
ImageMy boyfriend of 10 years was wanting sex 3 or 4 times a week. Now he doesn't seem interested anymore.

Can it be me? I am 55 and don't want to loose him. He is only 31.

Image When you ask, "Can it be me?" that could mean several things. You could be asking if it is something that you are doing that you could change, but assuming that you haven't changed lately, then it's not likely. You could also be asking whether your physical appearance has changed to the point where he no longer finds you attractive. That's possible, but impossible for me to guess at. But if I did have to guess, and that's all I can do, I would hazard that he may be the one who has changed. If you've been together for 10 years, that means he was 21 when this affair started. There's a big difference between a 21 year old and a 31 year old. Assuming you haven't had children together, and you're certainly too old now, he may be thinking that he needs to find a younger wife who can give him a family. Or he could have matured in other ways that also no longer fit being with you.

I know you don't want to lose him, so you're probably not pressuring him. But you are dissatisfied and worried, and so my advice is to sit down and have a talk with him. Maybe the answer will be that he is going to say he wants out of the relationship. That will be sad, but if it was inevitable, you might as well get it over with. On the other hand, maybe he'll voice some problem that can be fixed. If that's the case, it will be much better to fix it right away rather than to wait and have it get much worse, to the point where it can't be repaired. So talk to him, ask him the same question you ask me, and take it from there. If you really are afraid, go to see a relationship therapist, perhaps by yourself first to lay the groundwork, and then with him.

 
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