Sex Is a Job For Me
Image Me and my husband have been married for 14 years now and I have never had an orgasm. I have been faking them all this time just to please him.

We have six children together. Is there something wrong with me that i can't achieve an orgasm? I do get sexually aroused, but when i comes down to the real thing, its like its a job and not a pleasure. Please give me some advice. I sometimes wonder if i am too loose or is he too small? Thanks

Image Your problem is one of sexual illiteracy. What you don't know is that a majority of women cannot have an orgasm just from intercourse. These women, which I assume includes you, require direct stimulation of their clitoris in order to have an orgasm, something that they cannot get from intercourse alone as the penis going in and out of the vagina does not come into direct contact with the clitoris. There are positions that allow the man to stimulate the clitoris while his penis is in the vagina, such as the female superior position or the side to side. Or the man can give his partner an orgasm either before or after intercourse by stimulating her clitoris with his finger or mouth or a vibrator.

Since you've been faking all these years, your biggest problem is going to be explaining to your husband that sex, as you've known it, is going to have to change. He's going to have to help you to achieve sexual satisfaction. Since you say you've never had an orgasm, I have to assume you've never masturbated. If you could masturbate to discover exactly what motions it takes to have an orgasm, that would make things a little easier because you could then teach him to duplicate what you need. But assuming that you and your husband are going to have to explore this together, have a talk with him about this away from the bedroom. Go for a walk or a drive and tell him the truth. You should probably have a book, like Sex For Dummies, that you can read together. Make sure you let him know that this was not his fault as you were the one who was faking. It's going to be a difficult conversation to have, but let him know that once you've overcome this little problem, both your sex lives should improve.

 
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