Dirty Talk?

Image Hi Dr. Ruth, this may seem like a stupid issue, but I am at wits end with this! I am dating a wonderful man on and off for 4 years now. He is very turned on by "dirty talk" in the bedroom. My problem is that I cannot seem to bring myself to say the words -- I have no trouble thinking them, I have even typed them and sent e-mail's, but it isn't the same. I really want to break through this fear of mine (I am afraid I will sound stupid) for me as much as for him - I know that if I can get through this, it will be mutually satisfying. Please help!!!

Image One thing you could do is to practice when you’re by yourself. When you’re alone, spend some time saying the exact things that you would say in the bedroom to him. Perhaps once you hear these words coming out of your mouth in private, you’ll be more comfortable saying them in front of your partner. The other suggestion I have is to tell him that if you do say something “dirty” that he shouldn’t push you into saying anything more. If all you can verbalize the first time is one or two words, then he has to appreciate the effort and not try to goad you into saying more. This might be something that you’ll have to build on rather than be able to let go entire sentences the first time out. And it also might be something that you won’t be able to do. You have to tell him that also. Tell him you’ll make the effort, but that if it is too distracting and ends up ruining all of your sexual pleasure, then you’ll have to stop.

 
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