I have a hard time maintaining an erection
Image I am 23 years old and I have a girl friend. Weíve been together for 2 years now. When we first started dating we didn't do anything for awhile, then 3 months into it we started fooling around and 8 months into the relationship we started having sex but pretty much from the get go I am having a problem keeping and getting a erection. We donít always have this problem but for the most part it happens and as of now I don't have a sex drive, haven't for a while. I never try to have sex unless she want to and I know for a fact my confidence in the bedroom is shot. I do have addiction and I am seeing a doctor now about my addiction. I think itís all in my head but I can't get out of my head. Every time we are about to have sex I know whatís going to happen and she thinks itís her and I know itís not her. I need some advice

Image From what I can tell, there are two things going on here. The first has to do with your addiction. Iím not a specialist in that area, and I donít even know to what you are addicted, but the fact that it took you eight months to start having sex tells me that whatever it is youíre addicted to is having an negative effect on your libido. So thatís one aspect of all this. But with or without an addiction, if someone fears that theyíre going to have a problem in the bedroom, such as having an erection, then that fear will come true. So between the two effects, itís not surprising that you are having such problems.

The first thing I would advise you to do is show your girlfriend my answer. Youíre right, this is not her ďfaultĒ and so she shouldnít feel badly about it. Maybe, if your doctor can help you kick your addiction, this problem will resolve itself. And with her help and a little patience, the two of you could probably beat the problem of your fears coming true. Iím not sure that you can beat both effects at the same time, however, so maybe your sex life is going to have to be put on the back burner for a while, assuming sheís willing to put up with that.

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