My boyfriend doesn't like to cuddle
Image My boyfriend of 2 years doesn't like to cuddle. Not during movies, on the couch, after sex, never. He will for a few minutes but only if I practically badger him and/or force myself into his arms, even then he finds some reason to get up after only a minute or two, thinking that's all I need or want. Needless to say this doesn't exactly make me feel great. We live 50 miles apart so I feel the need to make the most of the small amount of time we have together and this lack of cuddling makes me feel like we're not as close as we used to be. We still have sex as often but it isn't very romantic anymore & there's much less foreplay. I've told him that I need more cuddling, kissing and all those little things that generally make girls feel loved and cared for but he doesn't understand that those things are necessary for me to be happy in a relationship. How can I help him enjoy cuddling more?

Image That men donít like cuddling as much as women is a given. But that a man wonít cuddle at all, or engage in enough foreplay, is not a good sign. He should want to be physically close to you for more than just sex. And since you live apart, itís not like itís something he has to spend a lot of time doing. So as you indicated, I wonder if he really does love you or whether to him this is all very convenient Ė he gets to have sex with you and say he has a girlfriend but doesnít really care that much for you. If thatís true, it would mean this is a dead end relationship, that at some point itís going to fall apart, and if thatís the case, why stay in it? Better to leave and find someone else who will love you enough that heís willing to cuddle, even if he doesnít like it all that much. And that youíre not even having enough foreplay makes this situation even worse, as that might mean youíre not getting sexual satisfaction.

Admittedly I donít know enough about your situation to tell you to dump him tomorrow. But I also know that the fact that you wrote to me means youíre dissatisfied. So maybe you just have to face up to the truth and end this relationship. If youíre really unsure, go to see a relationship therapist, by yourself, just to talk about this some more.

 
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