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My husband will watch porn but he turns me down for sex |
 I have been with my husband for 12years. He recently asked me to provide him sex more often he asked for 3x's per week. We have 3 small kids and its difficult at times to fit it in w/o falling asleep. But I have been making every effort to satisfy his needs. Recently I have fallen ill and he has been less affectionate with me so much that I am always approaching him for sex! Recently he has turned me down several times saying he is tired. Now he is turning me down and says he has no sex drive. I caught him watching PORN but he says he did it to increase his sex drive...so I sat on his lap and felt an erection and he still turned me down for sex. I am confused how can you have a low sex drive, watch porn and have an erection but still push your wife away? Im afraid he is no longer interested in me due to my illness (which is not effecting our sex at all or my looks) or has someone else. Please help
 This is a complicated situation and there is no way that I can make a guess and know that I am correct. But one thought that comes to mind is that he asked for more than he bargained for. You two were obviously having sex less than three times a week. He decided, from an intellectual point of view, not a physical one, that you weren’t having sex enough so he asks you to have sex three times a week. But when you start having sex that often, he comes to the realization that he doesn’t really want sex that often. You’ve been trying to keep up your side of the bargain, but he’s turning you down because it’s more than he really wants. And he’s not being as affectionate because he’s afraid that if he acts affectionately towards you, that it will lead to sex, that he no longer wants as often!
So that’s theory number 18. There are 17 other theories that could probably also fit this scenario. (Obviously that number is not exact, but just one I made up out of thin air as an illustration.) So because this is potentially complex, the only way you’re going to find out the truth is probably by going for professional help. On the other hand, you could show him my answer and have a conversation and see what happens. Even if I’m wrong, he might open up to you and together you’ll be able to fix the problem.
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