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My boyfriend doesn't seem willing to give me an orgasm |
 I have been with my boyfriend for two years, I am 28 and he is 33. We have sex 1-3 times a day (not including "quickies"), although some days we don't have sex at all. I have never been able to have orgasms vaginally, only from stimulation of my clitoris, usually oral. He thinks it is too much trouble to make sure I have an orgasm every time. I have tried to compromise, suggesting that he go down on me once on days we have sex (so on days that we have sex 3 times, I will get one orgasm). He wouldn't even agree to that. It isn't a hygiene issue, and he says he enjoys going down on me, it just seems like he doesn't want to put in that much effort. If he does go down on me, I usually achieve an orgasm in 5-10 minutes, so it isn't like it takes a really long time. If he doesn't go down on me, I will usually masturbate with a vibrator, and he just falls asleep. When I try to talk to him about it, non-confrontationally, he gets extremely defensive. What can I do?
 He’s exhibiting extreme selfishness. I suppose it’s possible that he is only selfish when it comes to sex, but I would doubt it. I would bet that you do most of the chores around the house, and for all I know, contribute most of the money to household expenses too. I can’t see any evidence that this man loves you, and so I wonder why you stay with him. Now perhaps I’m drawing the wrong conclusion based solely on the fact that he’s perfectly willing to fall asleep while you masturbate next to him, and if I’m wrong, then I guess it’s up to you to decide whether or not to stay. But if he’s using you in a dozen different ways, then my advice to you is to pack your bags….today. The sooner you start a new life without him, the better.
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