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My wife has MS and I am too burned out to have sex |
 I am a 36-year old male and been married 14 years now. Here's the problem. My wife has MS for 13 years diagnosed in our first year of marriage. For the first 7 or 8 years, we were having a wonderful time, in bed and out. Even with our up and down times, we had a wonderful sex life. For the last 5 years or so, my sex drive plummeted. I am also her caregiver, helping her dress, go to the bathroom, and day to day living plus work full time. I do love her and want to pleasure her but I can't. Even looking at another beautiful woman, I don't have sexual thoughts. I masturbate when I need the release and even then, its not pleasurable. I am burned out but I also want to give her pleasure. I have tried viagra and that helped but I feel like I am going through the motions. I just want to please her. She has the drive but I don't. I would like your input and any suggestions that you have and I will do what you say. Thanks.
 You’ve got a very full plate and there is no easy answer. I can understand you being burned out, and that’s OK. I often tell women that if their male partner wants to have sex and they don’t, that they should allow the man to have intercourse in order to satisfy their partners’ needs and not worry about getting sexually aroused themselves. Now this is easier for a woman but it’s not impossible for a man. Rather than have intercourse, you could masturbate your wife, perhaps even using a vibrator so that you really wouldn’t have to exert much energy at all. I’m not saying to do this every time, but from time to time to give yourself a break. Viagra doesn’t give a man the desire to have sex, just will allow him to obtain an erection if he already has the desire but has a physical problem, so that isn’t necessarily the right avenue for you to follow. I think if you give your wife sexual satisfaction from time to time without having to have sex yourself, that will give you a breather that will make it easier for you to have sex at other times.
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