I Have Needs Too

Image  I have been going out with my fiancée for about a year.....three months ago we broke up for a short time. After we started going back out but things changed...our sex life diminished. Now its almost down to nothing and when I asked her what's wrong..she said sometimes she don't want to be touched She was raped two years ago I care about her feelings, but I have needs too and when she always tells me no, I feel so neglected and so unwanted. I know we love each other and will be together but I don't know how to treat this situation. Please help.

Image I'm not so certain that the rape is the issue, since you were having sex with her after the rape but before the breakup. There may be some psychological scars from that rape that are playing some role, but the fact that you broke up with her may be playing a bigger role. If she already had problems trusting men because of the rape, and then you broke up with her, you can understand that her lack of trust might now be focused on you, and that could certainly be reducing her desire for sex or even contact with you.  The best course for the two of you right now is some sort of therapy. It could be sex therapy or relationship therapy, but you need some professional intervention. Hopefully whatever issues can be resolved, but without some counseling, I'm not sure that they can be. 

 
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