These partners were always fit and I never had issues with their sexual performances. Now I am 37 and have started a relationship with a very fit 53-year-old man. I just discovered, however, that he has difficulty giving a sustainable sexual performance. I was embarrassed and frustrated because after five or so minutes he declared, "that's it". Things are sometimes awkward during the first sexual encounter, but if this is going to be an ongoing issue, I am not sure how to approach it.

Obviously I place a certain importance on sex in a relationship, but nevertheless, my emphasis is on the relationship as a whole. So here’s my question to you: How do you feel about this man? If you like him, then perhaps his sexual difficulties, whatever they may end up being, might be something you could work around. After all, he could always give you orgasms with his fingers or his tongue so that you would end up feeling sexually satisfied. But if you don’t like him that much, then you should just move on. So my view is that the relationship as a whole is of the utmost importance, and that the sexual part can have difficulties but not be “a deal breaker” as long as both parties are trying their hardest.